a mood log
mood log felt so shitty last night. i went to sleep early (like around 8/8:30) and have somehow been awakeish since 12 (its 7 now)
idk why i felt that way. by all accounts it was a good day. uni has started and so we had all the new student events. im exec so i was there. i net people. said hello to old acquaintances.
but at the end of the day. walking home. i felt like shit. i hated myself. my throat hurt which really didnt help. i felt so lonely. i had a long hot shower but i skipped food and slept. my arm hurt. idk why. maybe i slept on it wrong or something.
i woke up and read my favourite manga. i’ve almost finished this second reading. i decided to chokish myself. its comforting. i kinda imagine its shima putting their hands around me. it feels nice. both the pain and the comforting thoughts.
i hope its a better day. i’m pretty sure i have bpd. i should probably look into getting diagnosed.
thanks far reading i guess. its weird to think people are/might/could see this but i guess i dont mind